Paul Jokes / Recent Jokes

One morning, a Filipino lady was doing her laundry and she went outside to hang the clothes to dry. When she went outside, she noticed that her son was playing around the perimeter of the pool. She was very concerned that he might fall in because he didn't know how to swim. So in a VERY THICK FILIPINO accent she yelled out, PAUL, becarPAUL because you might PAUL in the PAUL. ("Paul" pronounced like "pool")

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years.Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A: 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen, "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson; he brought the house down.Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, more...

These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares" game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems like it sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul a fast one! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul aboard Amtrak! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul balled up! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul Aidy, she tripped and fell in the mud! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul shook up! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul hard, the door's stuck again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul up a chair and I'll tell you!

Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter. St. Peter: Hi, what's your name? Paul: My name is Paul. St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Paul: 120K. St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money? Paul: I was a lawyer. St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name? Roger: My name is Roger. St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Roger: 60K. St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living? Roger: I was an accountant. St. Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name? John: My name is John. St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died? John: About $23, 000. St. Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming? Paul, stop monkeying around!

Poem by Paul McCartney. We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all a quiver, i slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.