Partner Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer charged a man $500 for legal services. The man paid him with crisp new $100 bills. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that two bills had stuck together -- he'd been overpaid by $100.
The ethical dilemma for the lawyer: Should he tell his partner?
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly.
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client on the phone.
"I'm very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night," the receptionist answered.
"Is Mr. Smith there?" repeated the client.
The receptionist was perplexed. "Perhaps you didn't understand me I'm afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night."
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client again.
"Madam, do you understand what I'm saying?" said the exasperated receptionist. "Mr. Smith is dead."
"I understand you perfectly," the client sighed. more...

A fire fighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung on the side. The boy was wearing a firefighter's helmet and had the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter said, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"

The little boy said, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck" he said with admiration.

"Thanks mister" the boy said.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed that the boy had tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

"You're probably right, more...

You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.
It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with
you once in
a while.
Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you
fished with long
ago.
It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to
feel guilty
about imagining the two of you fishing in boat
together.
If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she
won't object if
you fish with someone else.
Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish
by yourself.
You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office,
tell fishing
jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you
without getting sued for
harassment.
There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.
If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have
to subscribe
to the Playboy channel.
Nobody expects you to fish with more...

A guy stood over his tee shot for a long time, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. All this was driving his golfing partner nuts.

Finally, his exasperated partner said, "Just hit the stupid ball!"

The guy answered, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said the partner. "There's no way you can hit her from here."

The Rookie Cop...
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."
A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again...
"I SAID, let's get off that corner... NOW!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

You don't need a partner to juggle
Having blue balls isn't a bad thing
Jugglers aren't judged by the size of their balls
Don't have to wear protection
Don't have to worry about how many other people your partner has juggled with
After juggling, you can do it again right away
Easier to keep your balls in the air for long periods of time
Don't need nine months to recover from a mistake
When you finish, your balls are still as hard as when you started
Don't have to worry if your juggling partner is a minor

Put bifocals on. Double check that you're with the right partner.
Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes... in case you doze off in the middle.
Set the mood with lighting. Turn 'em ALL OFF!
Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin... just in case!
Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember what to scream out at the end.