Paris Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. "Hurry!" Paris said. "It’s starting to rain. And the top is down!"

A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture more...

Asked by GQ whether she fancied Tony Blair, Paris Hilston answered, “Who?”
Attagirl! That’s exactly what a star is supposed to be! More of today's celebrities need to take a page from old-time stars the way Paris has done. For example, when Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev came here on a visit and requested an evening out with Marilyn Monroe, someone had to tell her who he was. Because Marilyn was like, “Krushchev WHO??”
That’s my girl! That’s when stars knew how to be stars and actors knew their place. After all, saying “Who’s Tony Blair?” is much smarter than saying “Bush is a Nazi!”

Paris Hilton was recently spotted making out with Barry Zito at a Hollywood hotspot. For those of you keeping score at home, Hilton has now worked her way through the entire alphabet.

After a Jay-Z concert in a Vegas nightclub, Paris Hilton got up to lipsync one of her songs but ended up vomiting on stage instead. See, she’s just like the rest of us. We puke when we hear her songs too.