Paradise Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three young women, a Tamilian, a Maharashtrian and a Punjaban, who all happened to die on the same day, arrived in the office of Dharamraj, the keeper of life's records. He first questioned the Tamilian about her lifestyle.' I have been very good: a virgin till I married, utterly faithful and dutiful to my husband. I looked after my mother-in-law and prayed to Tirupati everyday.'
'That's very good. I will recommend you for first class accommodation in paradise,' said Dharamraj.
The Maharashtrian came next.' I was a full-blooded Maratha so I could not be quite as chaste in thought and deed as my Tamilian sister. But I didn't hurt anyone and I kept my husband happy. 1
'For you, second class accommodation in paradise,' replied Dharamraj.
'And what about you?', he asked the lady from the land of the five rivers.
'I was a very bad woman,' she replied.' I did everything I shouldn't have done: I never said my prayers, I quarrelled with my saas (mother-in-law), and more...
This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants
have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first
book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an
apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my
brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He
died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
6. more...
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice more...
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden... Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited To A Dinner Party At His Secret Afghan Lair, by Alan MeissPoint out the lice in his beard to make him feel self-conscious. Pause for a moment, listen carefully, and say, "Doesn't that sound a lot like a B-52?" Ask him if he's looking forward to replacing Hitler as Satan's favorite chew toy in the lowest inferno of Hell. Tell him all about your great vacation to Saudi Arabia, where you went absolutely everywhere and did everything, just stomped all over the place. Use his satellite phone to call the time and weather line in Buenos Aires and leave it off the hook. Tell him how much less you paid for your Kalashnikov rifle. Now that you know the address of his secret cave hideout, fill out magazine subscription cards for him for the Wine Spectator and Penthouse. But do not, under any circumstances, send him Popular Mechanics. Order him ten Domino's pizzas with extra ham topping. Correct more...