Palmer Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was the wedding night for a young couple and the groom wanted everything
to be just perfect. He arranged to stay in the Honeymoon Suite of a plush
hotel, and he and his new bride eagerly jumped into the heart-shaped bed
to make love for the first time (at least for him). After making wild and
passionate love for a considerate length of time, they both reached the
climactic moment simultaneously, slipping into a state of utmost
relaxation. At this point, the groom reaches for the telephone.
"What on earth do you think you are doing?" asks the young bride
"Well, I wanted everything to be perfect, so I thought I should call room
service for a bottle of their finest champagne," came the reply
"Well, I used to date Arnold Palmer, and when Arnold and I finished making love
we would wait 10 minutes and make love again," the young groom was informed.
"If that's what you are used to, I will be glad to more...

So God and Jesus are out golfing one day and they come to a particulary treacherous hole. Dog leg to the right with a lake in the middle.
It's Jesus' turn to tee off and He grabs a sand wedge.
"Just wait one minute, my son," God says, "you can't make this hole with that club!".
"Sure I can, dad," replies Jesus, "I saw Arnold Palmer do this on TV the other day. This is exactly the club he used!"
"Ok," replied God, "Go ahead and make an ass of yourself."
Well, Jesus tees off, and sure as heck it goes BLOINK, right in the water. Jesus is all embarrassed, picks up his robe, walks out across the water and reaches down to pick his ball up.
Meanwhile, there's two other golfers waiting to tee off and they saw the whole thing.
One of them walks up to God and asks, "Who does he think he is? Jesus Christ or somebody?"
"No," replied God, "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

Erin Andrews was recently spotted cozying up with former Giants quarterback Jesse Palmer. At least, that's who it looked like through the keyhole.

After being snubbed from the All-Star game by Boston manager Darrell Johnson, Baltimore's Jim Palmer claimed he was misquoted for calling Johnson an idiot."I did not call Johnson an idiot. Someone else did and I just agreed," Palmer said.

Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps. Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer could do it, I can do it." Jesus took a few practice swings, breathed deeply, then hit a blooper right into the water. Cursing, he walked on water to retrieve his ball. "Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?" asked one of the players. Another player turned to him and said, "No, that's Jesus who thinks he's Arnold Palmer."