Overheard Jokes / Recent Jokes
I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer's Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies. I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150,000 last year so for the last time, DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!! How cute... a tax form done in crayon. No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver's license every 4 years, not the other way around. Just because you talk to your plants ma'am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants. No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office "contributions" are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form. Even if you are a hooker, the number of orgasms you've had cannot count as a business expense. I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow your "Give me an extension and I'll give you an extension later at my place" argument. I take it that because you have decided to do origami with your tax form that you're more...
14. "Y'know, this new Crying Game Barbie just doesn't seem to be very popular."
13. "Hey, this is a piece of cake compared to some of the gigs I've had --
cookies for Keebler, clothes for Kathie Lee, shoes for Nike..."
12. "I don't care what Santa thinks -- these' Tickle Me Tripp' dolls are
downright frightening!"
11. "Just toss that broken toy in the barrel marked' Non-Christians.'"
10. "I'll build toys for the fat bastard, but shaving his back hair is where
I draw the line."
9. "Santa, we already make dolls that talk, walk, wet, cry, whatever... now
you want one that blows cigar smoke out of its *what*??"
8. "Please, Mrs. Claus, those batteries are for the children's toys!!"
7. "Hey, *you* try building a Playstation with nothing but antique Victorian
woodcarving tools, chubbo!!"
6. "I more...
I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but its got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."
Overheard at the White House Super Bowl XXXII party:
"For the last time, Bill. It's not pronounced Triple-X? Aye, aye!"
Wedding VowsA grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I cant break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.""What is she doing?", the pal asks."Waiting for me to get home."