Osmond Jokes

Sven and Osmond are good friends.
Each day, they get together after work and have a shot in a local bar.
This is a tradition that goes on for some time.
One day, Osmond says to Sven, "Sven, if I die before you, promise me that you will have a shot for me, each day."
Sven considers this and agrees.
Well, sure enough, Osmond dies, and sure enough, Sven has an extra shot for him every day after work.
This goes on for some time, and the waitress is quite familiar with the ritual and the reason.
One day, Sven comes in and orders one drink. Well, the waitress is shock, and says, "But, Sven, aren't you going to have another drink for your friend, as usual?"
Sven says, "Well, you see, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, but I don't think that Osmond should be punished for that."

A spokeswoman for Marie Osmond has denied her client attempted suicide last week. "Marie was hospitalized for a bad reaction to medication," said the woman. "Her system cannot handle more than 19 sleeping pills at a time."

Marie Osmond fainted onstage during ABC's live broadcast of "Dancing with the Stars" but quickly recovered. Two Snickers' and a Three Musketeers did the trick.