Osama Jokes / Recent Jokes
Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... Ill hide from you too!
What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common.
They both irritate bush!
Why did Osama Bin Laden killwife number 37? Because he looked up her dressand saw bush...
David Letterman presented an hour-by-hour account of a day in the life of Osama bin Laden:7:00 am: "He wakes up and asks his assistant,' Am I still alive?'" 8:00 am: "Has a nutritious breakfast of sand and dirt." 10:30 am: "He takes his camel in for a tune-up at Mazar-e-Sharif Amoco." 11:30 am: "Has trouble opening a jar of peanut butter; declares jihad against Skippy." 1:00 pm: "Tae-Bo." 1:30 pm: "Records a video demanding America surrender or else he'll make another video demanding America surrender." 2:30 pm: "He's a celebrity judge at a wet burqa contest." 3:00 pm: "Picks Mullah Omar's name in this year's Secret Santa drawing." 4:00 pm: "Turns on CNN to closely study the moves of his opponents. Gets bored, switches to Oprah." 5:00 pm: "Gets scolded for not taking out the trash by wives 3, 8, and 16." 9:00 pm: "Plots strategy for upcoming week: cower underground like a spooked more...
Osama`s ValentineLittle David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine`s Day. "Since Valentine`s Day is for a Christian saint and we`re Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"David`s father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don`t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," David says."Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock."Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we`re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he`d love everyone a lot. And then he`d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn`t hate anyone anymore."His father`s heart swells and he looks more...
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill
wife number 37?
Because he looked up her dress
and saw bush...
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"
Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin.
Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden groaned, "This is not what I was promised!"
The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?"