Orange Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are three men one guy has a orange
the other has a bottle of water and
the other a car door.they are walking though the hot desert.So the guy with the
orange ate it the one with the water drank
it the guy with the car door said i'm going to roll down the window
There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying. They asked her what was wrong. She said, "I was just sitting here playing when an apple fell out of the sky and hit me in the head."
They said, "That sucks"
Then they took off again and the second guy threw a orange out of the plane. When they landed there was a another little girl crying. They asked her what was wrong and she said the same thing as the other girl except that an orange hit her in the head.
So they took off again and just before they landed the third guy threw a bomb off of the plane. When they landed they saw Banta laughing.
So they asked Banta, "Why are you laughing, what's so funny?"
Banta said, "I farted and my house blew up."
What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?
If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Anaheim Mighty Duck super star, Teemu Selanne, had never had his father see him play professional hockey. He was thrilled to have his father visit him recently to watch him play.
In honor of the occasion, his good friend, Mikkail Shtalenkov, arranged a special banquet at the renowned local Scandinavian restaurant, Gustav Anders, where noted chef, Anders Strandberg, prepared a gourmet dinner of the Selanne's favorite Finnish dishes.
In addition to the entire Mighty Ducts team and staff, Disney and Orange County dignitaries attended with the entire tab being picked up by the Duck goalie.
It was a huge success. The Orange County Register reported the next day that it was certainly a dinner worthy of... the father, the son and the goalie host.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! (boom tish!!)
The special order
Abraham, an old Jewish immigrant, is a cloth merchant. He lives in London next door to Craig, the biggest Anti-Semite in town. One day Craig calls up Abraham and says, "Hey Jew. I want to buy a piece of orange cloth. The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and I want it delivered tomorrow."
Abe says "OK."
The next morning Craig is awoken at 7am by the sound of lorries. He runs outside to see dozens of lorries dumping load after load of orange cloth in his front garden. Soon the front of his house is a sea of orange cloth 5 feet deep. Abe then presents Craig with a bill for £12,000.
Craig starts yelling and screaming at Abe. "Jew, what are you doing to me? I asked you for a piece of cloth from the end of your nose to the tip of your penis. Look at this place. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Abe replies, "The tip of my penis is in Poland."