Optimist Jokes / Recent Jokes
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Young person to preacher, "REPENT??!! I haven't even pented yet!!"
Thousands of years ago the Egyptians worshipped cats as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over mole hills.
While praising the optimist who created the airplane, let us not forget the pessimist who made the parachute!
In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.
Always forgive your enemies - it aggravates the heck out of them!
Confidence is painting the ceiling after installing the new carpet.
You can't turn back the clock. But you sure can wind it up again.
PATIENCE is something you greatly admire in the driver behind you, but NOT in the one ahead of you.
How proper are the English? Their lifeguards give handshake to handshake resuscitation.
There was a time when anyone spending $100 for sneakers was stocking a shoe store.
What's the definition of an optimist?
A choral director with a mortgage.
What's the definition of an optimist?
A folk musician with a mortgage.
What do you call a accordionist with a beeper?
An optimist.
A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for a coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, "You know what? I've now become an optimist."Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up.But then Sam notices something isn't quite right and he says to Moishe, "Hold on a minute, if you're an optimist, why are you looking so worried?"Moishe replies, "Do you think it's easy being an optimist?"