Optimist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Discussion group
A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday in Brent Cross for a coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.
One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”
Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up.
But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Moishe, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”
Moishe replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”
An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.
The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.
At fifty, a man can be an ass without being an optimist, but never an optimist without being an ass.
Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual Pessimistic way of thinking.
The Optimist owned a huntin' dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat.
They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist shot down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.
The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?"
The Pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched more...
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears it is true.