Operation Jokes / Recent Jokes

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."

Munna bhai: Yeh doctor log operation karne se pehle Patient ko behosh kyun karte hain?

Circuit: Bolay to patient khud operation karna seekh na le is liye……

A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my testicles has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back.
"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other testicle has turned blue too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant.
"Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to agree to the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. more...

A guy walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Ddddoc, I’ve bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III’m tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme??? ”
The doc says, “Well, I’ll have to examine you first before I can answer you. ”
The doc examines him and says, “Well, I’m pretty sure that I know what the problem is. ”
The guy asks, “wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc? ”
The doc says, ”It’s your penis. It’s about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords. ”
The guy asks, “Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it? ”
The doc replies, “Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering. ”
The guy says, “Dddo it! ”
The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor’s office and says, “Thanks Doc. You’ve solved my problem and I don’t stutter any more but I’ve only had sex once more...

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $
5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:
1 screw $1 Knowing how to put it in $4999 $5000 total
The businessman never argued.

After just having undergone a long and complicated operation, the patient kept complaining about a bump on his head and a horrible headache. Since his surgery had been an intestinal one, the nurse couldn't understand why he would be complaining about an aching head. Fearing that perhaps he may be suffering from some form of post-surgery shock, she decided to ask a surgeon in training about it.
"There's nothing to worry about, nurse," explained the surgeon in training. "He actually does have a bump on his head. Halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."

10) Viet Nam was a jungle war; Desert Storm is a desert war. (as noted by V. P. Quayle)

9) The U. S. is not the world's most profligate waster of rice.

8) We are not killing Vietnamese women and children in Desert Storm.

7) The White House wasn't smart enough to come up with a catchy name for the Viet Nam war.

7') Viet Nam was a conflict--Desert Storm is an operation.

6) Some Americans actually believed that we were defending a democratic government in Viet Nam.

5) The time difference from the U. S. to the middle east is better suited to prime time live coverage of the festivities.

4) Nobody ever compared Ho Chi Minh to Adolf Hitler.

3) We hadn't been supplying weapons and intelligence to the North Vietnamese until weeks before the war began.

2) The networks didn't have slick computer graphics with dramatic theme music for the Viet Nam war. and the number one reason why Operation Desert more...