Officials Jokes / Recent Jokes

China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision! Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States,? Fully responsible" for today? s mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane. Officials have stated that at approximately 8: 46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged. A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed "Panda Rash", told China's news agency that he saw the American blimp dive out of the clouds and onto wingman Thee Sum Yun Dork's f-8 jet. "I told Thee Dork his tail was all broken. Keep it straight. Keep it straight." said the pilot "He could not shake the American foreign-devil" The blimp reportedly then veered left then right, more...

Parents in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin have asked school officials to remove former U.S. poet laureate Maya Angelou's autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, from the high school curriculum.

English teachers and people who've read the First Amendment to the Constitution have responded by asking state officials to have Fond du Lac removed from Wisconsin.

Some suggested titles for Angelou's next book:
I Know Why I Never Went to Fond du Lac
I Know Why It's Illegal to Marry Your Cousin
No word yet on the parents request to have Michael Richards speak at graduation.

ANN ARBOR, Michigan - Christian Silbereis, 17, wanted his Halloween costume to be educational. So he came to school dressed at a giant vagina. The costume was created by his mother, to wear at his school's Halloween fancy dress contest. School officials did not feel the pink cape decorated with wig hair, satin and lace was appropriate, however, and they suspended the student for the remainder of the week. Silbereis's mother warned him that the costume might make some people uncomfortable, but he still won first prize in the contest.

Silbereis defended his choice saying, "It's anatomically correct. It's just another body part - they teach us about it in school. I mean, what if I was wearing an elbow costume? That's part of the body. Would they suspend me then?" A petition is being passed around to students objecting his suspension. High School officials refuse to comment on the reason for the suspension.

Once all the Sardars get disgusted about the large number of jokes that are cracked about them and so they come together in an auditorium to prove to the world that aren`t that silly after all. They call upon one sardar and ask him, "What is 10 plus 10?" After thinking for some time sardarji replies, "25!" The officials to whom they want to prove get disgusted but thousands of sardars in the auditorium start shouting, "Give him another chance!" So the officials ask him again, "What is 5 plus 5?" The sardar replies after thinking for awhile, "30!" Again there`s shouting from the audience, "Give him another chance!" Another question is posed, "What is 2 plus 2?" The sardarji replies after much thought, "4!" Again there is the voice of a thousand shouts, "Give him another chance!

In 1976, the Pentagon returned 50 security doors because of a design flaw.
The doors, which cost $1,500.00 each, had titanium locks and handles, and a 0.0001" clearance at all edges. The problem was discovered when an angry secretary threw her coffee cup at one of the doors. It went right through the
1/16 inch wood veneer. It was also discovered that if you pulled on the handle, it would come off in your hand.
In 1948, Mayor Jose Hussong, of Baja California, Mexico had a section of highway named after him by the people of his city. On the day it was to be dedicated, a group of officials waited for him to arrive. After they had waited for 2 hours, one of the officials went to the mayor's estate. He was informed that the mayor had been dead for 2 years. The official returned to the dedication and announced that the Mayor was unable to attend due to
health problems.

Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision!
Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States, ” Fully responsible” for today’s mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane.
Officials have stated that at approximately 8: 46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged.
A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed “Panda Rash”, told China’s news agency that he saw the American blimp dive more...

God created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.

Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative. Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution?

God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that he would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied more...