Normal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA-The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a more...
Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.(Dumb Laws - Illinois)
Ever thought, What would happen if temples were Americanised...
Before Pooja the pandit will not ask for your name anymore. Your social security number will do. ..
Two types of prasad will be available - Normal Prasad & Diet Prasad. ..
Panchamrut will be of 4 types: Normal milk, 2% milk, Skimmed milk and fat-free milk (The same for yogurt). ..
You don't tip the pandit on the plate, when he gives the prasad. You should swipe your visa card on his scanner. ..
You no more go around the temple from left to right. This is America and everything here is from right to left. ..
Due to fire hazard, no more aarati, only flashlights will be used. ..
To prevent noise pollution, all bhaktas need to use head phones to listen GONG of the bell ..during flashlight-tee (aar-tee).
Soft copies of lord are on sale at $1 per image. ..
The pandit will no longer read the mantra from books, he will use his laptop instead. ..
The temple would re-cycle the flowers used more...
Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car
"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!"
No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft!
No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head.
No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to.
No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while.
No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand more...
What did the normal baby say to the test tube baby? Ha.. ha... your dad's a jerk off!
It seems that when God was making the world, He called man over and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified! Only 20 years of normal sex life? But the Lord was very adamant - that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him 20 years. "But I don't need 20 years", he protested, "ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly "Can I have the other ten?" the monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him 20 years; and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again man spoke up "Can I have the other ten?" the lion said of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given 20 years - but, like the others, ten was sufficient. And again man pleaded; "Can I have the other ten?"
Which explains why man has 20 years of normal sex life - ten years of monkeying around - ten years of lion about it - and ten years of making an ass of himself.
It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "Ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly. "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten.
Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years - but like the others, ten was sufficient - and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?"
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten more...