Normal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Just something funny to read.

    1) It`s better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
    2) I`m lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
    3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.
    4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...
    5) Daydreaming is way better than school!
    6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.
    7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.
    8) The voices in my head are snoring.
    9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?
    10) I`m not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!
    11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!
    12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!
    13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, &

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    ' 'Squawks'' are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) = Problem, (S) = Solution


    (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    (P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
    (S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

    (P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    (S) # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

    (P) Something loose in cockpit.
    (S) Something tightened in cockpit.

    (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    (S) Evidence removed.

    (P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
    (S) Volume set to more believable level.

    (P) Dead bugs on more...

    Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted's penis was twisted like a corkscrew.

    "Wow," Ed said. "I've never seen one like that before."

    "Like what?" Ted said.

    "All twisted like a pig's tail," Ed said.

    "Well, what's yours like?" Ted said.

    "Straight, like normal," Ed said.

    "I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Ted said.

    Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants. "What did you do that for?" Ted said.

    "Shaking off the excess drops," Ed said. "Like normal."

    "Cripes," Ted said. "And all these years I've been wringing it."

    Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

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