Noah Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why was Moses the most wicked man?
A. He broke all 10 Commandments at once.
Q. What animal could Noah not trust?
A. The cheetah.
Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?
A. Flood lights.

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years.Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A: 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen, "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson; he brought the house down.Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, more...

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world...
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth more...

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world...In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humor more...

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark? Fished, but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind ofliving thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark." And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time." And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah." Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I more...