Nine Jokes / Recent Jokes
How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
"They were at a dance party at a friend`s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down... It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old
"My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won`t tell me what kind." -Jeremy, eight years old
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old
"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -Craig, nine years old
When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, `cause she`ll want to have videos of the wedding." -Allan, ten years old
"Never kiss in front of other people. It`s a big embarrassing thing if more...
Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
why 6 dont like 7?
ans- because seven hate nine (7 8 9) and six and nine are mates.
(As told to me by a bartender, original source unknown.)
A tired looking gentleman walks up to a bar and asks the bartender quite
explicitly for nine double martinis, extra dry, hold the olives, and to
serve them all at once, right away. The bartender gives the man a curious
look, but to no effect, and proceeds to mix and pour the man's request.
The gentleman picks up the first and turns it up quickly before the
bartender can finish pouring even the second one, and proceeds to drink
each one in turn. Finally, the bartender has to ask.
"Why all the drinks?"
"Celebrating!"
"Oh? What's the occasion?"
"My first blowjob."
"Well, congratulations. Let me give you one on the house to make it
an even ten."
"No thanks. If this doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, another
one won't help any."
Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.
St. Paul replies,' 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.
St. Paul replies,' 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says,' 'Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask,' 'Why?''
''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''
A man walks into a building and tells the manager that he wants to join their organization. The manager says, "Okay, but there is one rule you have to follow. You cannot get an erection while you are trying to join this group." The man says O. K.
He is stripped of his clothing. A bell is tied around his penis and he is put into a room with nine other men who are also trying to join. Then a naked woman is sent walking across the room and nine bells are quiet, and his is ringing away. The man begs for another chance and is given this chance.
The woman walks by again and again the man's bell rings again. The manager says to the man, "Pick up your stuff and go. You are unfit for this organization."
As the man bends down to pick up his stuff, the other nine bells start ringing.