Murphy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agents hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have... Why dye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale... tis too good to part with."

Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"Manager: "Simple. The American put down on question # 5,' I don't know.' You put down' Neither do I.'"

The Fund Raising Problems of Father Murphy
Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for
suggestions as to how he could raise money for his church. He was
told that horse owners always had money so ho went to a horse auction,
but he made a very poor buy, as the horse turned out to be a donkey.
However, he thought that he might as well enter the donkey in a race.
The donkey came in third, and the next day the headlines in the
paper read, "Father Murphy's Ass Shows." The archbishop saw the paper
and was very displeased. The next day, the donkey came in first and the
headlines read "Father Murphy's Ass out front." The Archbishop was up
in arms and figured that something had to be done.
Father Murphy entered the donkey for the third time and this time
this time it came in second. Now the headlines read "Father Murphy's
Ass back in place." The Archbishop thought this too much so he more...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven? ”
The man said, “I do Father. ”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall. ”
Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven? ”
“Certainly, Father, ” was the man’s reply.
“Then stand over there against the wall, ” said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven? ”
O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father. ”
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven? ”
O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now. ”

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven? ”The man said, “I do Father. ” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall. ”Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven? ” ”Certainly, Father, ” was the man’s reply. ”Then stand over there against the wall, ” said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven? ” O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father. ”The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven? ”O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now. ”

Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road one day, Paddy said, Murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over there Murphy, I can't see, theirs trees in the way!

MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong, it will. MURPHY'S LAW ADDITON: If anything that could go wrong doesn't go wrong, it would have been ultimately better for it to have gone wrong.