Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum.
"I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Simple...there was a piece of paper in his hand that said - put me down for 10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum.
"I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Simple...there was a piece of paper in his hand that said -
put me down for 10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum."I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?""Simple...there was a piece of paper in his hand that said -put me down for 10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.
"I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

One day a little boy was walking down the street and noticed a doggy on a cats back. He said to his mum, "mummy look! that cat is giving that dog a piggy back!", he said. The mother replied, " No son, dont look, that dog is shagging that cat!", The young boy thought for a while and said to his mum, "have you ever shagged someone?", he said curious. "Yes, when you hear banging at night, thats me and your dad at it!", She explained.
"Mummy, You wanna shag?" He said.

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day
>>and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says
>>"Mummy what are they doing?". The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm
>they are making cakes".
>>
>> The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkies
>>having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her
>mother replies with the same response, making cakes. The next day the girl
>says to her mother "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last
>night eh?". Shocked, the Mother says "how do you know?"
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>>Yucky, scroll down.............
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>>Here goes..................
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>>Are you prepared for this????????
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>>It's REALLY more...

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing? ”
His mother replies, “That son, is the elephant’s trunk. ”
“No, at the other end. ”
“That son is the tail. ”
“No, mummy, the thing under the elephant. ”
A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, “Thats nothing. ”
The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. “Daddy, what is that long thing? ”
“That’s the trunk, son” replies the father.
“No at the other end. ”
“Oh, that is the tail. ”
“No, no daddy, the thing below, ” asks the son in desperation.
“That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son? ”
“Well mummy said it was nothing, ” more...