Mum Jokes / Recent Jokes

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us."

Mum, yelled Johnny from the kitchen, you know that dish you were always worried that I would break? Yes dear, what about it? Well your worries are over.

Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, Oh, God, are you still in there?

Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Boy: Because he read the label, and it said shake well before using.

Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

' Mum, can I please change my name right now? ' asked Ben.
' But why would you want to do that, dear? ' said his mum.
' Because Dad say he's going to spank me as sure as my name's Benjamin! '

A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker. "What do you think youre doing?" she demanded. "Im just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy. "Where is the baby?" asked his Mum. "Under the bath."