Monster Jokes / Recent Jokes

What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray.

Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag. mons

What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.

Monster: Stick em down. Ghost: Dont you mean, stick em up. Monster: No wonder Im not making much money in this business.

Q: How can you enter a haunted house?
A: With a skeleton key.
Q: How can you fatten up a ghost?
A: With ghoulash and spooketti.
Q: What is a ghost's favorite ride?
A: A roller ghoster.
Q: How can a witch tell the time?
A: By using a witch watch.
Q: What is bigger than a monster but lighter than a bird?
A: A monster's shadow.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a ghost with a black bird?
A: A scare-crow.

On Radio:".. he runs in to bowl, over the stumps. He has a forward-short leg, a backward short-leg, a square-leg and a deep fine leg".

Housewife: "Wow! the man must be a monster. No wonder all our boys are scared of him"

Son Of A Bitch Fish A irish priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide holding a net, yelled "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!" Son, I`m a irish priest. Your language is uncalled for! No, irish father, that`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish! Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch! Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. irish father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I`ve ever seen. Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it? Why eat it of course. You`ve never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch! Elated, the irish priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear, and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "irish father!" It`s ok Sister. That`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a more...