Mohammed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the 9/11 terror attacks, confessed at a U.S. military hearing to that crime and a far-reaching list of nearly 30 others, including planned attacks on the Empire State Building and the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II.

Mohammed also admitted responsibility for the killing of Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Brown, the "disposal" of Jimmy Hoffa, the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping and The Great Train Robbery of 1903.

The governors of Alabama, Georgia & Mississippi would like to announce that they have made a disturbing discovery in their states. Apparently, a small number of terrorists have become romantically involved with the locals.
The result was not pretty, and we now have the sad task of reporting a new sector of the human race: ISLAMABUBBAS
So far, only a smattering of actual births has been reported, and we are hard at work trying to isolate and seal them off.
To date, we have identified the following: Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Bout It Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba Bobbie Joe Bubba Charlene Atat Betty Jean Hasbeena Badgurl Cleavie Daba Hava Tampa Linda Sue Bin There Dunthat Not surprisingly, they all seem to have sprung from one couple: Mohammed Whoozyadaddy and Yomamma Bin Lovin.
We'll keep you posted.

From The Guardian weekly, January 9 1994
David Rowan presents the Excessively Distorted Language Awards for 1993
There is Usually a word for it
Camille Paglia Award for Verbal Pomposity
To Camille Paglia whose answering machine message goes like this: "You have reached the voicemail line of Professor Camille Paglia. Due to her pressing obligations as a teacher and scholar, Professor Paglia cannot personally return calls. Do not send faxes: Professor Paglia does not accept them. All packages are opened and inspected by the staff. Unsolicited materials without return postage may be automatically discarded. Urgent messges may be left on the tape to be reviewed by the staff. If you do not receive a reply to your letter or call, please assume that Profesor Paglia is not interested in your proposal..."
Native Californian Political Correctness Award
RUNNER UP: Santa Cruz city council, which debated a motion to outlaw "lookism", the practice of more...

The governors of Alabama, Georgia & Mississippi would like to announce that they have made a disturbing discovery in their states. Apparently, a small number of terrorists have become romantically involved with the locals.
The result was not pretty, and we now have the sad task of reporting a new sector of the human race: ISLAMABUBBAS
So far, only a smattering of actual births has been reported, and we are hard at work trying to isolate and seal them off.
To date, we have identified the following:
Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba
Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Bout It
Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba
Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba
Bobbie Joe Bubba Charlene Atat
Betty Jean Hasbeena Badgurl
Cleavie Daba Hava Tampa
Linda Sue Bin There Dunthat
Not surprisingly, they all seem to have sprung from one couple: Mohammed Whoozyadaddy and Yomamma Bin Lovin.
We'll keep you posted.

My young child is attitudinally challenged. He's my spawn the same way as Damien was conceived in The Omen, Phoebe had a Charmed fetus, or Rosemary had a baby.
He starting to talk but has trouble speaking clearly. Sometimes after a prayer in Hebrew, when he's supposed to respond, "Amen," I could swear I hear him say "Allah" instead. At this rate his first recognizable drawing will be of the prophet Mohammed.
This is NOT the prophet Mohammed.

Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund`s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Akhund presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he`s finally had enough. "I`m headin` back home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We`ll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Akhund flies to the United more...

Some Sikhs and Pakistanis were in trenches facing one another. One Sikh shouted' Mohammed Mia'. A Pakistani soldier stood up and shouted,' Mohammed Mia ko kisne bulaya?' (Who called Mohammed Mia?) He got shot. Another Sikh shouted' Azam Khan' Azam Khan stood up and said. .. and got shot.
The Pakistanis found it a great idea and decided to copy it. (It is in their genes to do everything after the Indians!) So a Pakistani soldier shouted,' Swaran Singh'.
There was silence. After a cpuple of minutes one of the Sikhs shouted,' Swaran Singh ko kisne bulaya?' (Who called Swaran Singh?)
A Pakistani soldier stood up - and got shot!