Mermaid Jokes / Recent Jokes
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her. How could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. However, if you will have sex with me five times in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow to you."
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to more...
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her - how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you."The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the more...
There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.
Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says: "OK, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."
"The mermaid says: "Done." Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid: "Triple my I.Q."
The mermaid says: "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q."
The mermaid looks at him and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish more...
There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing.
Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for
granting each of them a wish. Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it,
and says:
"Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q."
The mermaid says: "Done."
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it
with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid:
"Triple my I.Q.." The mermaid says: "Done."
The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that
have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry,
etc.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to
the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q." The mermaid looks at him and says: "You
know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a more...
There was a man sittin in a bar with a small head and a man opposite him. The 2nd man crossed to the first and said " i cant help but notice how out of proportion your head is to your body how did it happen?"
The man with the small head said" buy me a beer and al tell u the story"
He bought the beer and the story begun.
" well a was oan ma ship wi the crew n the ship began to sink. I swam for a while till a saw a mermaid oan a rock. she swam to me and told me she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes."
"So my first wish was that i wood b rescued and soon a ship was sailing my way. then my second was that i wood have a big muscly body and i got one. then for my 3rd wish i thought for a while and came up that i wanted to have sex with the mermaid but she explained that since she was part fish it wouldnt work so again a thought for a while then i decided that she could give me head down below so i announced to her my more...
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her--how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. more...