Memorial Jokes / Recent Jokes

George Bush went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington monument. He said, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds George replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." George thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging.
Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."
George continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said, "Abe, what should I do?" After a few seconds Abe replied "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"

Among the celebrites atending the memorial at the Staples Center in LA will be Jack Nicholson. Jack though is a little confused and thinks the ceremony will honor Lakers coach Phil Jackson.

ADVICE FROM THE ANCIENTS.....

Bill Clinton went jogging one morning last week to clear his head and think about his troubles. He came upon the Washington monument and paused. Looking up he said,' George, what should I do?'

After a few seconds George replied,' Abolish the IRS and start over.'

Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said' Tom, what should I do?'

After a few seconds Tom replied,' Abolish welfare and start over.'

Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said,' Abe, what should I do?'

After a few seconds Abe replied' Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?'

Clinton, distraught and contemplating his latest scandal was walking through Washington looking for any kind of guidance.

He walks up to the Washington Monument, looks up and says,' George, you were always wise, what should I do?'

Low and behold, a voice comes down from above and says,' ABOLISH THE I.R.S. AND START OVER.' Clinton, amazed that he is talking to the past President thinks he'll try it again.

He walks over to the Jefferson Memorial and utters the same request.' Thomas, you never had these kind of problems, what can I do to rally people behind me?'

Again a voice from above answers,' WELFARE, ITS NOT WORKING, ABOLISH IT, START OVER.'

After hearing this Clinton is so excited he is planning to go to all the historic sites for guidance. Next he goes to the Lincoln Memorial.' Abe, I need your help, people are losing confidence in me and they no longer trust me what should I do?'

After a substantial pause Abe more...

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. "Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this? "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque. Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9: 00 or the 10: 30?"

Signs Your Memorial Day Weekend Sucked
1. Huge grill marks on your ass.
2. Stay in the local burn ward now part of the family cookout tradition.
3. Image of Grandpa in his Speedo is indelibly burned into your memory.
4. Your improbable kebob skewer mishap headlines local paper.
5. Your barbeque fire consumed 10,000 acres.
6. Your five-year-old took the phrase "weiner roast" literally.
7. While you baked in the sun, drinking buddies placed a DUMBASS stencil on your forehead.
8. Your Ball Park Frank didn't plump, if you know what I mean.