Mechanics Jokes / Recent Jokes

In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.

In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.

# Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
# Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing the diskettes, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
# Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
# Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
# Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the xerox machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert more...

HEAVEN is where: The police are British The chefs Italian The mechanics are German The lovers are French and it`s all organised by the Swiss HELL is where: The police are German The chefs are British The mechanics are French The lovers are Swiss and it`s all organised by the Italians!!

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks hell have to replace the whole socket.

In Heaven 1. The cooks are French,
2. The policemen are English,
3. The mechanics are German,
4. The lovers are Italian,
5. The bankers are Swiss. In Hell 2. The policemen are German,
3. The mechanics are French,
4. The lovers are Swiss,
5. The bankers are Italian. In Computer Heaven
1. The management is from Intel,
2. The design and construction is done by Apple,
3. The marketing is done by Microsoft,
4. IBM provides the support,
5. Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell 1. The management is from Apple,
2. Microsoft does design and construction,
3. IBM handles the marketing,
4. The support is from Gateway,
5. Intel sets the price.