Mechanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road. The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk. He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess. He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?" The mechanic replied, "It looks like more...

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it while it's running!

Once there was an man living between people wich made lots of noises at night and day.
The one who left was a music teacher, she learns the children day and just before night.The violens make sqeaky sounds, and piano is false.
On the right side lives a mechanic wich makes loud noises day and night.Cling, clang you no what I mean.
On that day the man decided that this must stop at once.He shouts,"I can't take it anymore!".The next day he goes over to the musical teacher and gives her a hand full of money and told her she must buy her a new house.The same day he goes over to the mechanic and gives him all the money he has left, and asked him just to leave the next day.And they both agreed.
The next day the man helped the music teacher with the piano down the stairs and asked her where she is moving to.
Then she said,
"I heard the man next door was also looking for a place, now he's gonna move in my house and I in his.

A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a
1, 00, 000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30, 000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30, 000 kilometres."

What's the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

A Mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor!
Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?"
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it when the engine is running."

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic..... "Try doing it with the engine running!