Meanest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two farmers were discussing which one had the meanest, toughest dog. One, who had a very mean looking Doberman, insisted that his was the meanest and toughest and that it could lick any other dog in the country. The second just looked at his mangy, old, yellow dog and said that he would wager his against any dog in the country.
Well, after some animated discussion they finally decided to let the dogs fight it out. After a very brief snarling match, the old, yellow dog leapt on the Doberman and killed it outright.
The first farmer was aghast. His dog had been beating other dogs for years and had never had more than a small scratch or two. He turned to the other farmer and asked, "What kind of dog did you say yours is?"
The first farmer replied, "Well, before he lost his tail, we called him a Mountain Lion!"

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After five years they came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way more...

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. more...

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the
usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five
years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to
dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them
with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from
each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and
after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day
came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a more...

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was.
The first said, “The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it’s got such big jowls. One bite and your gone. ”
The second shook his head and said “Nah, hippo may be mean, but ain’t nothing meaner than an alligator. He got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap? , one bite, ha, one swallow, you gone. ”
The third gentleman sat for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, ” No sir, the meanest aninmal in the world is a hippagator. ”
The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal.
The gentleman slowly began to explain, ” A hippagator got a hippo head on one end, and an ‘gator head on the other”
“Wait! interrupted the others, “If he has a head on both ends, How does he shit? ”
The reply was simply, ” He don’t, that’s what makes him so mean”.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
“When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.

"When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine more...