Marriages Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always more...

"What are you doing today, oh mother of my children?" queries papa ji. "Well," replies mum ji, "I think I'll get some chores out of the way, like marrying off your son!" "What a great idea." agrees dad. "You do that while I wash the cars!"

And so the wheels of the' marriage machine' are set in motion. Once moving anyone wishing to stop them is simply steam rolled over! Before long an unsuspecting couple find that it has carried them all the way to the temple. Accompanied by a million voices commanding their every move, they sit cross legged in total bewilderment wondering which order to obey first.



Evolution of the arranged marriage actually starts as soon as the grades have been achieved, the job secured and the Ford Mondeo acquired. For then, life for the single Asian suddenly shifts into the "eligible" gear. Not only do mum and dad treat you like a prize poodle at Crufts but family more...

Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail.

Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.marr

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."

This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded:

My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms,' It's gonna be great!'

My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, Those more...