Mammalogist Jokes

Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the only bar in town. On one particular day it was 40 below zero and Garvin made his way into the bar. He asked Bud, the bartender, for a whiskey. "I don't know, Garvin, you sure have run-up a big bill in here." The bartender told him. " I know," Garvin replied, "But I'm flat broke, and I sure could use a drink. "OK," The barkeep told him, "I'll just write your tab down on the piece of paper and pin it up here by the coat rack." "Oh no, don't do that, I don't want everyone in town to see it. "Don't worry," The bartender replied, "I'm going to cover it up with your parka until its paid!"

A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifically with a group of captive grizzly bears. They had only two applicants - a beautiful young women biologist and an older male biologist. The mammalogist in charge of the project knew that not everyone can handle working with such fierce creatures so he decided to test their skills with the bears. The two hopefuls followed him out to the bear pen. He first asked the young women to show him what she could do. She entered the cage, stripped down to her bikini, and the largest bear walked up and nuzzled her bare legs. The astonished mammalogist then said to the old man, "Can you do that?" "You're darn right I can," said the old man, "just get that bear out of there first! "