Malayalee Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
then got the body and put it in a casket.
Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
kept.
She would slip into the coffin more...

Bruce Lee is actually a Malayalee, but he left Kerala, the land of MaveLee, because he didn't have Jo lee or Koo Lee. He was not happy to be a ThozhilaLee or Vazhakkaa Lee and decided that he wants to become a MuthalaLee by being a Pora Lee. Actually, he invented his most popular film titles from the Malayalam word Vyaa Lee (Dragon). His favorite goddess was Ka Lee and he enjoyed Adipo Lee a lot. What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon? - Kodaa Lee.. According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake? - Ana Lee. Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala -Adima Lee. Bruce Lee's Favourite Malayalam Channel- Kaira Lee. Bruce Lee favorite vegetable? -Thakkaa Lee. What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him? - Nilavi Lee. What is Bruce Lee's pet - Chunde Lee What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?- Karingaa Lee. What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name? - Anaarka Lee. What is Bruce Lee's nick name? - Neeraa Lee. While in kerala he likes to be known as a - more...

Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
“OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise? ”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ”
So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Babu! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! ”
Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else”, Kuttappan says.
“President Bush, ” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes, ” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington. ”
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his more...

1. kozhi (chicken)

2. pannam (money)

3. kallu (liquor)

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said,
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who Wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked!!!!!! !!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of awoman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was! "
As expected, he got the beating of his life time....

Moral of the story:
Don't more...