Maggie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sandy McDonald, a long time and respected resident of a small Scottish town, passed away.
His wife, Maggie, went to the newspaper to place an obituary. She asked how much it would be. When the newspaper man told her, she was a little shocked by the price.
She asked him, "Since Sandy was such a highly regarded resident of this town, couldn't you do it for nothing?"
"No", said the man. "But, I will give you three words, free."
Maggie answered, "Well, we could just say,' McDonald is dead."
The newspaper man, then said, "I have just been thinking. Since Sandy was such a highly respected resident of our town, I think I could make that six words, free."
"Oh," said Maggie. "Then we could say, "McDonald is dead. Bicycle for sale."

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500, 000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right. .. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it.. but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500, 000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you more...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left - phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 - are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it... A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be more...

Wee Hughie was dying. Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked: ‘Anything I can get you, Hughie?’ No reply. ‘Have you got a last wish, Hughie?’ Faintly, came the answer.. . ‘a wee bit of of that boiled ham over yonder.’ ‘Wheesht, man,’ said Maggie, ‘you know fine that’s for the your funeral.’