Louie Jokes / Recent Jokes

The large family
Max was talking to Louie. “Did you know that I’m one of 18 children?”
Louie said, “No, I didn’t. Why do you think your parents had so many children?”
Max replies, “The problem was that my mum was hard of hearing. When mum and dad went to bed each night, dad would ask, “Do you want to go to sleep, or what?”
And mum would say, “What?”

A group of prisoners were attending their rehabilitation meeting. Their assignment was to each stand up in turn, state their name and admit to the other inmates what crime they had committed.
The first prisoner stood up and said, "My name is Stuart and I'm in for armed robbery."
Everyone gave him approving looks and pats on the back for admitting his wrongdoing.
The next prisoner stood up and said, "My name is Dennis and I'm in for murder."
Again, there was a round of approving looks and pats on the back. This continued around the circle until it was the last inmate's turn.
He stood up and said, "My name is Louie and I'm not saying what I'm in for."
"Come on now, Louie," the group leader said, "in order for you to make any progress, you must disclose what your crime was. Now, tell us what you're in for."
"Ok, ok," Louie said, "I'm in for screwing dogs."
A disgusted look came over the more...

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod).
When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him.
"So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?"
"Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now".
"Oh yeah?... so...?"
"Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good more...

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him."So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?""Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now"."Oh yeah?... so...?""Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never even loved more...

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new
bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congrega-tion who would be
willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impedi-ment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked more...