Loses Jokes / Recent Jokes
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
South African Loses Foot to Shark...
blames casino for not having ATM on site.
Pluto loses status as planet. Also loses court case seeking to be allowed to wear pants in Disney cartoons.
Heard on "60 Minutes" 31 March: (from a National Party Senator in
Queensland whose name escapes me now)
The definition of recession is when your neighbour loses his job.
The definition of depression is when you lose your job.
The definition of recovery is when Paul Keating loses his job.
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
Two guys are in a bar and the guy says to his friend, "I wanna lose 10 pounds."
His friend says, "Okay give me one hundred dollars."
The guy gives him the money and leaves the bar.
A day later a hot chick is in the guy's front yard. She says, "If you can catch me, I will have sex with you."
The guy chases her around for an hour and loses 10 pounds.
The next day a guy tells the first guy's friend, "I wanna lose 20 pounds."
The friend says, "Okay give me two hundred dollars."
The second guy gives the friend the money and leaves.
The next day a hot chick is in the second guy's yard.
She says, "If you can catch me you can have sex with me."
The second guy chases her around for two hours and loses 20 pounds.
The next day a fast olympic athlete tells the guys' friend he wants to lose 30 pounds.
The guys' friend thinks and then finally says, "Okay give me three hundred more...