Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said
"Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts"
Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me"
The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!"
Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can`t jump!"

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing and
staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the
pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque, too, he
said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, not taking his eyes off
the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,
"Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"

After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She thinks and decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some "unusual" pictures in mind. So she starts with Anne. Anne: "This is our house". / / / / | | | | | | Teacher: "Good Anne!" and asks Peter to draw next: Peter: "This is our house's door". / / / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very good, Peter" and calls Mary: Mary: "This is our house roof". / /UU / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very nice, Mary" and calls on Stevie: Stevie: "And this is the sun over our house." |/ -O- /| / /UU / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very nice Stevie" and thinks, there is not much damage that Johnny can do with this picture and asks Johnny to come to the board. Johnny: "And this is my Dad, trying to pick up the more...

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching Little Johnny efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which Little Johnny replies, "Now we run!"

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Little Johnny: Her mouth said' no', but her ass meant' yes'.