Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny was playing outside in the garden one day when he pulled a worm from it's wormhole. Johnny's grandfather, who had seen the whole incident approached Johnny with a devious grin upon his face. He placed a $10 bet with Johnny that Johnny wouldn't be able to put the wriggly worm back into it's hole. Johnny gleefuly accepted the wager and proceeded to the house with the worm in his hand. It wasn't long until Johnny came back from inside the house and carefully threaded the worm back into it's hole. His grandfather gazed in awe at this amazing feat and told Johnny that he would give him the $10 if Johnny explained to him exactly how he managed to thread the worm back into it's hole. Johnny proceeded to tell his grandfather about how he sneaked into his sister's room and covered the worm with his sisters hair spray until the worm was rock hard so that he could simply thread the worm back into it's hole. His grandfather duly honoured his word and handed the money over to Johnny. more...

Little Johnnie sees his Daddy's car passing the play ground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a "Passionate Embrace".
Johnnie finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedtly:
"MOMMYMOMMY, IWAS ATTHEPLAYGROUNDANDDADDYAND.."
Mommy tells him to slow down, she wants to hear the story, so Johnny tells her; "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane layed down on the seat, then Daddy.."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnnie, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks more...

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked' How much is 2x3?' I said' 6.'"
"But that's right!" The father replied.
"Then she asked me' How much is 3x2?'"
"What the heck's the stupid difference?" asked the father.
"That's what I said!"

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well
"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10"
"Good. What comes after three?"
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your erm...dad did a good job. Now...so what comes after...lets say ten?"
"A jack"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter," asked little Johnny. "Giving up?"