Lite Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we more...

Q:How can you tell if a blond is a true blond
A:shine a flash lite in her ear if eyes
lite up she is a true blond

How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
1, 392:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently,

4 to complain that they were happy with the old one,

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs,

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs,

53 to flame the spell checkers,

156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list,

41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames,

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb,

203 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. more...

A red head, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender asks the redhead what she would like. She says, "I'll have a A. L."
The bartender looks lost, and so the redhead says, "Daaaaa, an Amstel Lite!"
Next, the bartender asks the brunette what she would like. The brunette says, "I'll have a B. L."
With this, the bartender gets a grin on his face and says, "A Bud Lite, right?"
The brunette says, "Daaaaa, a Becks lite!"
Feeling really dumb, he asks the blonde what she would like to drink. The blonde says, "I'll have a 15."
The bartender says to himself, "A 15, a 15, a 15?"
The Blonde says, "daaaaa, a 7 and 7."

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.

7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

21 to flame the spell checkers.

49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.

69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be more...

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331
1 to change the light bulb and to post on the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs more...

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,3311 to change the light bulb and to post on the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed.14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.53 to flame the spell checkers.156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail more...