Liquid Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Ghost Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but
no shit on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit-
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So yo end
putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't
them with those dreadful skid marks.

The Wet Cheeks Shit-
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt
get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Liquid Shit-
That's the sort where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your arse,
splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time
your tender anus.

The Mexican Food Shit-
In a class of it's own.

The Marketing Shit-
A turd which is more...

Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994

1. Introduction

The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.

2. Food

In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.

a) When the humans are eating, make sure more...

Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap?
A: It's harder to pick up.

Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do.
Raabert: Lekin Wo Kyo Boss?
Ajeet: Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap? A: It's harder to pick up.

Viagra now available in liquid form. FDA officials today announced the release of the wonder drug Viagra in a new, easy-to-take liquid form. It is sold under the name "Mydixadrill."
Now when men come home from work in the evening, they can pour themselves a stiff one.

Johnny was sitting on the steps with a container of turpentine, shaking it up and watching the bubbles, when a priest came along and asked him what he had. "What I have," said Johnny, "is the most powerful liquid in the world. It's turpentine."
"Oh no, my son," the priest said, "Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. If you take just a little of this Holy water and rub it on a pregnant woman's tummy, she will pass a healthy baby."
"Heck, that's nothing," said Johnny. "You take some of this turpentine, rub it on a cat's butt and he'll pass a motorcycle."