Liberty Jokes / Recent Jokes
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington." How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee. Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you... What the more...
The fellow in the office next to mine recently acquired an office accessory
(a rather large letter holder) which came in a cardboard box on which was
printed, in inch-high capital letters,
"THANKS FOR BUYING AN AMERICAN-MADE PRODUCT."
To underscore the point, the unmistakable silhouette of the Statue of Liberty
was printed just to the left of the slogan.
Do you think the folks who chose the Statue of Liberty for this appeal to
patriotism remembered where the Statue of Liberty itself was made?
MARRIAGE Dictionary
Bachelor: 1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
3) A man who every morning comes to work from a different direction.
4) A man who never makes the same mistake once.
5) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
6) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
7) A selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
8) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Bridegroom: A gent who exchanges living quarters for a better half.
Cad: A man who doesn't tell his wife that he's sterile until she's pregnant.
Childish game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would more...
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!
A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn’t you say there was a quack in it!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school
A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia? Must have been a duck family A duck family? Didnt you say there was a quack in it!