Lesson Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O`Neill said, "Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object."
Paul replied. "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher I the school."
"Thank you, Paul," responded Mrs. O`Neill, "but what is the object?"
"To get the best mark possible," said Paul

Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life..." "What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked.

"Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I'm not sure I'd like Shirley following me around all the time."

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson."Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor."P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied."Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said,' I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.' Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof.' Now,' said his father,' when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof.'' But, Dad,' said the boy,' there's a huge drop!'' Do you want to succeed in business?'' Yes, Dad.'' And you trust me, don't you?'' Yes, Dad.'' So do as I say and jump.' The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.'

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them areplaying like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, hesays, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!""Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast." The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wifewith the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches herswing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asks the wife." Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis." The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, andTHUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway.. . about 15 ft. more...