Leader Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die some day," the leader of the
discussion said, "and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment."What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the leader asked the group."For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives," one gentleman said."A very admirable thing to do," said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do."For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater
conviction," one lady said, more...

Back in the cowboy days, a wagon train is lost and low on food. No other humans had been seen for days. Suddenly, they see an old Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushes to him and says, "We're lost and running out of food. Is there someplace ahead where we can get something to eat?"
"Vell," replies the old man, "I vouldn't go up dat hill und down other side. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree."
"A bacon tree?" the wagon leader asks.
"Yah, ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nuttin vud I lie," says the old man.
The leader returns to his people and tells them that they might be able to find food on the other side of the next ridge. "Then why did the old man say not to go there?" some of the pioneers ask.
"Oh, you know that Jewish people don't eat bacon," the leader explains.
So, the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attack and massacre more...

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"A gentleman said, " I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.""Very good!", said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.""That's wonderful!" the more...

With the hunchback still dead, and his no-armed replacement still dead, the church leader still needs a bell ringer. He posts a sign outside the church and another no-armed man shows up to take the job. The frustrated church leader says, "The last no-armed guy died trying to ring this bell, what makes you think you can do it?" The no-armed man says, "I've been without my arms since birth and therefore have much more experience. Besides, I desperately need the job to feed my family." The church leader, feeling sorry for the man, says, "OK give it a try." And, as expected, the no-armed man tries to pull the rope with his teeth, stumbles and falls to his death. The church leader rushes down to the sidewalk just as a policeman arrives. The policeman says, "OK, this is two deaths in two days. Does anybody know who this guy is?" The church leader says, "I'm sorry, I didn't ask, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was in here yesterday!"

A bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."
Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.
Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks of life remaining before your death?"
A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lifes."
"Very good!" said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."
"That is wonderful!" the group more...

Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a defense company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat. So please don't trouble any of the other employees".
The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"
The cannibals all shake their heads no.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others, "Which of you idiots ate the janitor?"
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Supervisors and Managers and no one noticed anything, and you have to go and eat the janitor!"

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.
He lands up in the enemy`s camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?
Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.
Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?
Boss: Wait for more.
Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?
Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don`t worry about your family, we will look after.
Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.