Labour Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.
How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)
How do you tell a Canadian from an American?
It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he`d say "zed" instead of "zee". But 18 years of Sesame Street have taught a lot of Canadian kids to say "zee," and it`s starting to sound as natural as it does south of the 49th parallel.
Another test used to be the word "lieutenant". Canadians pronounced it in the British was, "leftenant", while Americans say "lootenant". But American cop shows and army shows and movies have eroded that difference, too.
Canadians have been adopting American spelling as well. They used to put a "u" in words like labour. The main organization in the country, the equivalent of the AFL-CIO, is still officially called the Canadian Labour Congress. But news organizations more...
In the City of Istanbul, the Council authrorised Mayor Cornelius to receive tenders and award a contract to erect a fountain.
Tenderer Ricaldo submitted a tender for $3000. The breakdown being; $1000 for labour, $1000 for materials and $ 1000 profit.
Almeida submitted a tender for $6000. Labour $2000, Material $2000 and profit $2000.
Fernando submitted a tender for $9000. $3000 for tenderer Fernando as profit. $3000 for mayor Cornelius for the trouble. $3000 for tenderer - Ricaldo to erect the fountain.
Fernado, of course got the contract.
My most memorable one was, after being lightly smacked on the butt and asking, "What was that for?" "Nothing. DO something and see what you get." I once got smacked and when I asked, "What was that for?" my mom replied, That's for all the things I never found out about." If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me! Variation: Cut your legs off in that lawnmower, don't you come running to me! If you poke your eye out with that thing, don't come looking for me! You always find things in the last place you look. Keep doing that with your face and it'll stay that way. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Variation: (speaking in time with the spanking) This(spank) hurts(spank) me(spank) more(spank)..... I want you to go find something for me to spank you with. Mother to my Father: "He's got my looks and your brains!" "He's your son!"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate. What were you thinking more...
What will happen if the Government of India decides to become a commercial film financier, say of' Mahabharat'? Read on.... Government of India Ministry of Human Resources Development Department of Culture Films Division No. B1452/234/2003 Dt. 15. 5. 03To: Shri. B. R. Chopra, Film Director, Mumbai Ref: Your letter dt. 2. 12. 90 regarding financing of films by Govt ofIndia -story submitted by you - namely,' Mahabharat' The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a filmCalled' 'Mahabharat'. The Very High Level Committee constituted for this purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission, National Commission for Women and Labour Commission, in addition to various Ministries and State Governments, and have formed definitive opinionsAbout the script. Their observations are as below: 1. In the script submitted by you it was shown that there were two setsof cousins, namely, the Kauravas more...