Knive Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was
    told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to
    Communist Hell.
    Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to
    Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored.
    "What's it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied, "In
    Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a
    rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small
    pieces with sharp knives."
    "That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist
    Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line
    of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven
    times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through
    to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people
    in. Dave asked Karl more...

    Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.
    "I juggle them in my act."
    "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.
    A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

    A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
    "What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.
    "I use them in my juggling act," says the juggler.
    "Oh yeah?" "Let`s see you do it." Says the policeman.
    So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.
    A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I stopped
    Drinking. Look at the test they`re making you do now!"

    A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
    "Sir," the cop says.
    "Why do you have all those knives?"
    "They're for my juggling act," the man says.
    "I don't believe you," says the cop.
    "Prove it."
    So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
    "Man," says the first guy.
    "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

    A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat. "Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?""They're for my juggling act," the man says."I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by."Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

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