Kilometres Jokes

Amazing Eyesight Two Men Are Talking. 1st Man-My Eyesight Is So Good That I Can See 5 Km Away! 2nd Man-O, Thats Nothing! My
Eyesight Is So Good That I Can See Thousands Of Kilometres Away. 1st Man- But Thats Impossible. 2nd Man- It Is Possible. When
I Get Up In The Morning, I See The Sun Which Is Thousands Of Kilometres Away!

A Marine Biologist was telling his friends about some of his most recent research findings. "Some whales can communicate at a distance of 500 kilometres," he said.

"What the hell would one whale say to another 500 kilometres away?" asked his sarcastic friend.

"I'm not absolutely sure," the expert said, "but it sounds something like' Can you hear me now?' "

A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a
1, 00, 000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30, 000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30, 000 kilometres."

Taxi_Driver: Give Me 20 Rupees As We Have Covered 20 Kilometres.
Passenger: Take Me Back 10 Kilometres Because I Have Only 10 Rupees With Me.

Dear Colleagues,
I have been reliably informed that one of the Spice Girls has left the Group and that they are currently recruiting on an urgent basis for members. The position will commence, conveniently, on the Australian leg of their World Tour. I urge you to make the most of this fabulous opportunity by applying on the form below.
The Spice Girls Application Form
Name: ____________________
Age: ____________________
Real age: ____________________
Bra size: ____________________
Original bra size: ______________
How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter
( ) A team player
( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?
( )Yes ( )No
Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
( )Yes ( )No
Are you willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry?
( )Yes ( )No
How many times more...