Keeper Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me sir," says the young man "do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3: 00" the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money
as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a
zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a
gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will
fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get
another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before
crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play
and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on
tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion
in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, more...

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across more...

The young lady strolled through the National Zoo and finally paused in front of the monkey island.

Mystified as to the whereabouts of the animals, she queried the keeper, "Where are all of the monkeys? "

"They're all back in the cave Miss." he responded, "It's right in the midst of the mating season."

"I see." she replied, "Do you think they'd come out if I offered them some of these peanuts? "

Smiling the keeper responding, "Well, I can't rightly say as I know Miss. Would YOU?"

Once Satharji was walking on the street & when he came to an electronic shop he went in & asked the keeper "How much is that T. V?" pointing at something.
"We don't sell things for Satharjis" replied the keeper
Then after some times he came with changing his clothes & appearance & asked again "How much is that T. V?" pointing at the same thing
"We don't sell things to Satharjis" replied the keeper.
Then again he came with changing his appearance & clothing's & asked again "How much is that T. V?"
"Sorry, I said you that we don't sell things to Satharjis"
Satharji got angry removed his wig & clothes & asked "How the hell do you know that I'm a Satharji?"
"Because Satharjis are stupid" replied the keeper
"Why?" asked the Satharji
"You were pointing at a microwave & asking me how much is that T. V"

A guy sits in a bar when the barkeeper starts talking about his dog, "My dog is
the most vicious killing machine in the area. If I had not tied it by a huge
chain, it would kill other dogs or children all the time."
And really the guy can see a doberman snarling in the corner tied by a huge
chain. The guy looks up and says, "I bet you a beer that my dog that is tied up
outside the pub has no problem killing your dog."
"Oh really?" answers the bar keeper, "what breed of dog do you have?"
"A long nosed, short legged, long tailed terrier," answers the guy.
"Alright," replies the bar keeper and releases his doberman. The doberman runs
outside. Soon afterwards the tattered remains of the dog limps back, bleeding,
all over covered with wounds, and dies at the barkeeper's feet. The bar keeper
cannot understand what was going on.
"That must be a hell hound you have outside. What more...

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, a crossbar cant jump!