Jumping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from10th floor?............

Former goes Dhaap AAAAAaaaaaaaaa.
Later goes AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Dhaap.

This 55-year-old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed, laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous; what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got the results of my annual physical and my doctor said I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 55-year-old ass?" She says, "Your name never came up!"

An army grunt stands in the rain after marching 12 miles with a 35-pound pack on his back and says, "God, this is shit." An army airborn recruit stands in the rain after jumping from an airplane and marching 18 miles with a 45-pound pack on his back and says with a smile, "God, this is shit." An army Airborn Ranger lies in the mud after jumping from a plane into a swamp and marching 25 miles with a 55-pound pack on his back and says with a grin, "God, I love this shit!" A green beret kneels in the stinking mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back after jumping from an airplane into the ocean, swimming ten miles to the swamp and crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault the enemy camp and says with a passionate snarl, "God, give me more of this shit!" An Air force recruit sits in an easy chair in his air-conditioned, carpeted quarters and says, "The cable's out? What kind of shit is this?"

Two guys went to Mexico to open up their own bungee jumping service. When they finally had everything set up in a plaza, a large crowd assembled around them so they decided it would be a good idea to give them a demonstration.
The first guy jumped and bounced at the end of the cord, but when he came back up his partner noticed that he had some cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, his partner was unable to catch him, so he fell again, bounced and came back up. This time, he not only had some cuts and scratches, but he was bruised and bleeding as well.
Again his partner missed him, so he fell yet again and bounced back up and this time, he was really a mess. On top of everything else, he now had a few broken bones and was almost unconscious.
Finally, his partner caught him and asked, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Faintly, the first guy replied, "No, the cord was fine, but what the hell is a pi

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

One night a little kid has a nightmare. So he runs into his paretns room screaming. A second later he sees his mom jumping up and down on his dad. So he runs out into the living room. The mom comes and says honey whats wrong. The kid say i saw you jumping up and down on dad why did you do that. the mom thinks and says umm because everyday your dad gets a big belly so i have jump on it to make it flat. The kid says oo, but thats useless. The mom says why? He says when you leave to go to the grocery store the neighbor ladie comes bye and gets on her knees and blows it back up.

A 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"
She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year old." She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?"
She says, "Well, your name never came up."