Joint Jokes / Recent Jokes

Then: Killer Weed Now: Weed Killer Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it’s cool Now: Moving to California because it’s warm Then: Being called into the principal’s office Now: Storming into the principal’s office Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: Getting your head stoned Now: Getting your headstone Then: “Going blind” Now: REALLY going blind Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President Now: Fighting to keep the lying President Then: The perfect high Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund Then: Elvis in the army Now: Elvis in a UFO Then: Keg Now: EKG

...when he stumbles Upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my
friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and more...

Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state, One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver, One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model of human lightbulb changing behaviour], The logical formalism group (16): [One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in first order logic, One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in second order logic, One to show the adequacy of FOL, One to show the inadequacy of FOL, One to show that lightbulb logic is non-monotonic, One to show that it isn't non-monotonic, One to show how non-monotonic logic is incorporated in FOL, One to determine the bindings for the variables, One to show the completeness of the solution, One to show the consistency of the solution, One to show that the two just above are incoherent, One to hack a theorem prover for lightbulb more...

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.
You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.
You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.
So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the more...

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.

He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"

So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.

"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"

The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair
Then: The perfect high
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund
Then: KEG
Now: EKG
Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux
Then: Moving to Calif. because it's cool
Now: Moving to Calif. because it's warm
Then: Growing pot
Now: Growing pot belly
Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
Then: Seeds and stems
Now: Roughage
Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
Now: Popping joints
Then: Killer weed
Now: Weedkiller
Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM
Then: The Grateful Dead
Now: Dr. Kevorkian
Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint
Now: Receiving a new hip joint
Then: Rolling Stones
Now: Kidney Stones
Then: Being called into the principal's office
Now: Calling the principal's office
Then: Screw the system
Now: Upgrade the system
Then: Peace sign
Now: more...