Installs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Ten Commandments
    1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard on the opposite sexes genetalia
    2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one
    3. Thou shall kiss at every given opportunity
    4. If thou kissed someone, and was slapped, thou shalt not kiss her again.
    5. Thou shall never bite when in the act of french kissing
    6. Thou shall not pay for sexual intercourse
    7. Thou shall not date members of state or Musicians
    8. Thou shall not have sexual intercourse in public convieniences.
    9. thou should never turn down free sexual intercourse
    10. Procreate at will
    Religions of the world
    Taoism: Shit happens
    Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens
    Hinduism: This shit has happened before
    Buddhism: Shit happens, yet shit does not happen
    Islam: Shit happens, is Allah wills
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to other people
    Catholicism: If shit more...

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found
    that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
    applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1. 0 also is spawning
    Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

    No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
    brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
    this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
    Wife 1. 0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
    initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
    that some applications such as PokerNight 10. 3, BeerBash 2. 5, and
    PubNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
    (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1. 0
    automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55. 8 more...

    A very lonely old lady buys a parrot from a pet store, complete with cage. Before the purchase, she is given a guarantee that the bird will talk. Ten days later, she returns to the store, very disappointed.
    "The parrot doesn't talk."
    "Did you buy a mirror?"
    "No."
    "Every parrot needs a mirror."
    So she buys a mirror and installs it in the cage.
    Another ten days, and she's back at the pet shop.
    "The parrot still doesn't talk."
    "Did you buy a ladder?"
    "No."
    "Every parrot needs a ladder."
    So she buys a ladder and installs it in the cage.
    Guess what? Ten days later, she's back in the shop.
    "The parrot still doesn't talk!"
    "Did you buy a swing?"
    "No."
    "Every parrot needs a swing."
    So she buys a swing and installs it in the cage.
    You know, don't you - ten days later, she's back in the shop, and she's more...

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