Inmate Jokes / Recent Jokes

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"

"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."

"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."

"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"
The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.
The inmate started singing, "One more...

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold."No," the inmate said, "just get it over with.""Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.The inmate started singing, "One billion bottles of beer on the more...

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"
The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.
The inmate started, "One more...

The inmate on death row was scheduled tobe put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guardswere being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specificfor his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if therewas something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this allday.Finally, when he was put before thefiring squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold."No," the inmate said,"just get it over with.""Well, is there anything that I cando for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a speciallast meal!"The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would reallylike would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with nointerruptions."The guard nodded and told him to goahead.The inmate started, "One billionbottles of beer on the wall..."

It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with hismeager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of hiscell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block eruptedinto laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. Athird voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didnt know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall."Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door."Whats going on, here?" asked Rocky."Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library theres only onejoke book. Weve all read the book so many times that we dont waste timetelling the joke, we just call out its number."So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r theyellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. more...

An inmate on death row was scheduled to die before the firing squad the following morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were very nice to him. But, when they asked him if there was something specific he wished to have for his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It continued like this all day.
Finally, when he was put before the firing squad the guard asked if he would like a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Is there anything at all I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard. "You didn't even request a special last meal!"
The inmate thought for a moment, and replied, "Well, actually, music is my life. The one thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, without any interruptions."
The guard nodded and told the inmate to go more...