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Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (c), the latest version of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft.
Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty. Windows 98 (c) represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 95 (c). You'll notice immediately that "98" is a higher number than "95" a better than 3 percent increase.
But that's not all. Windows 98 (c) contains many features not found in Windows 95 (c), or in any competing computer operating system, (if there are any of course).
Among the improvements: faster storing and retrieving of files (not in all models), enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality, smoother handling, less knocking and pinging, an easy-to-follow 720-page User's more...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause.
You try to s sleep(8 * 3600);
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page..
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover more...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause.
You try to s sleep(8 * 3600);
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page..
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that more...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...". When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause. You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours / When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page. When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number... When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that more...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...".When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause.You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number...When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing more...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Icon.
Icon who?
Icon tell you another knock knock joke. Do you want me to?

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