Humping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What is the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg?
A. You let the pit bull finish.

How do you get a horny dog to stop humping on your leg? Pick him up and start sucking his dick.

There is a man and he finds out his wife is cheating on him because she isnt getting enough pleasure. He goes to a porno shop and tells him his problem. The man says he has just the thing for him, so he pulls out a box labeled Voo Doo Dick. He says watch this and opens the box and says, "voo doo dick, door!" so it jumps out of the box and start humping the keyhole. The guy buys it and takes it home to his wife. He tells her how to use it and goes to work. Later, his wife wants pleasure so she opens the box and says, "voo doo dick my pussy!" so it starts humping her like crazy. when she gets like 8 orgasms she wants to stop, but she doesnt know how, so she gets in her car and drives to the hospital, and on the way she has another orgasm and swerves all over the road. A police stops her and asks whats wrong, so she says that she has a voo doo dick in her pussy. The policeman says, "yeah right, voo doo dick my ass!"

One day Johnny and Susie were playing tag outside. They both got really hungry so Johnny asked his mother to make them something to eat she replied with, "Yes but go upstairs with Susie because it's getting cold outside. I'll call you when it's ready."
So Susie and Johnny decided to play house. 15 minutes passed and Susie and Johnny were thinking on what to do next. "Johnny," his mother said. "Huh?" I guess she didn't here him so she said, "Johnny Humper." So for some reason he said, "Okay," and started humping Susie. "Johnny Humperharder." So he started humping her harder. "Johnny Humperharder," she said even louder and he humped her like he never had before. So then his mom yelled, "Johnny stop playing games and come here right now," and he said, "I can't it's stuck."

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's more...